I just got back from the IDSA portfolio review, and I don’t think it could have been worse. I don’t really know where to begin… I’m just starting to put together a new portfolio, and I’m not completely done. I do have two projects in it now, and I made sure to tell people that it’s just a work in progress. I just wanted some general feedback and advice. Apparently, that advice is just that I suck and should probably give up. Someone literally said to me that out of ten people, they wouldn’t hire me, and I should spend every single day from now until graduation trying to get better at sketching. Actually, that last comment was prefaced by looking at a page which had some sketches on it, asking me what year I am, and then telling me that I suck at sketching…probably in the meanest way possible. I mean, I feel like that review went beyond “critique” and more into the “attack” category. I don’t know if it’s just because I’m so tired from staying up all night so much working on projects, or if it was just that bad, but I did go cry in the bathroom after that review. It’s a little shameful to admit it, but I did. I mean, I’ve been struggling with some of this stuff for so long that I feel like I won’t ever be able to get it right. A few posts ago, I was questioning whether or not I’m really cut out to be a designer–maybe this evening was a definitive “No, you’re not.”
I don’t want this to hurt my progress on the current project. I’ve just got to keep pushing for another week, and then I’ll have a little rest. I don’t want to let this evening stand in the way of finishing the project I’ve worked SO hard on for the past few weeks. I just don’t know how to deal with this. It would be nice to have a job where I can actually tell whether or not I’m doing a good job and not have to rely solely on someone else’s opinion. I mean, I seriously thought I had some solid work to show in the portfolio review, but I got ripped apart in a whole new way.
I hate everything right now.
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a designer in progress 
ohhh–missie, I’m sooo sorry! Please don’t distress, take it from me, you can’t let that shit get to you…Like when people are tearing me up I just try and keep perspective, think about what people who love you would say if they were there, it always makes me smile….At least you had the balls to get up there and present, it is easier to be critical when you are some neutral person, who feels like they have to comment because someone else asked them to. Harsh feedback is a cop out for someone not interested/intelligent enough to give constructive feedback. Fuck it when someone says they wouldn’t hire you, who would want to work for such a douchebag? You have passion. I really believe that is the most important design tool, and the only one that will keep you in the game. I am soo tired of the way tech’s id program treats learning, as if it has to be this unpleasant experience, where professionals seem to dislike students, like we devaluing their degree or something. like they are all the shit and always have been. design is fun. don’t forget it. i don’t mean to sound so idealistic, but it’s true. how it makes you feel is all that matters, once you realize that, and motivate yourself, then nothing external can hurt you anymore. I wish I was at home so we could go out and get drunk and bitch about design together!